B14d3's Xanga

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 02:05:47 GMT

Got my phone. Comment here if I don't give the number to ya in a couple of days.

Quick update

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 11:29:52 GMT

In about 2 weeks I get a cell phone. I will send out a mass txt of my number. If you don't get it, drop me a comment and I'll get it to you.

Also, I have found these new books. Wraeththu. Very very good, and I've only read one chapter. It's weird. But amazing.

....

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 08:11:37 GMT

Hey. I realized recently just how much help I need. And I'm not talking financially or anything like that. Just, in general. For some reason, I've noticed lately just how much like a small child I am. In most situations, there are things that I cannot stand. Things that I can't mentally/emotionally cope with. No. I don't understand it. Yes. I want it to be resolved. No. I can't do it alone. And, no. I don't know what to do.

So I bid a request to everyone who still reads this outdated blog website. Give me a comment with anything you can tell me....

Everything, I'm trying to be

Tue, 29 May 2007 21:36:46 GMT

I know that I don't say this enough. I know most of this that is going to, most of you don't hear this enough. From me, at least. I know that there is no real way for me to express this. There is no real way for you to know exactly what I'm saying, exactly what I mean, or exactly how I'm trying to say it. But maybe I can describe what I'm feeling right now.

After a trip to Fremont, hanging out with Thomas, Kiri, Anthony, Ethan, Lyndsey, Nicole, and a ton of other people, I have had this feeling. Still have this feeling. I don't really know how to explain it. Imagine an anvil (shrank in size obviously) just above your diaphragm. That's similair to what it feels like. Not bad. But there. It's a very good feeling. A feeling of love that no one can truly understand whatout having felt it themselves. A feeling of love that knows no distance, only friends. Knows no drama, only memories.

I guess basically what I'm trying to say to everyone is... I'm sorry. I'm sorry to so many people about how I have not kept in close contact. I'm so sorry to people about how they don't know how I feel about people. I'm so sorry that I don't know how to make you really know.

I'm sure everyone can guess who I'm thinking about when I write this. I don't care.

If you are or were a good friend of mine at one point or another, and we just lost contact, know that I still love you. Know I still think of you. I'm sure that there are going to be people who read this that I'm very much not talking about. I'm sure that there are going to be peopel who read this that I am talking about, and don't entirely understand it. Either way is fine. If you are reading this, then you probably know who you are.

There are going to people that I am going to single out here. For different reasons. I'll probably update later with the specific reasons.

Anthony
Kiri
Thomas

And those are going to be the main three. Russ is not in there because right now, I'm just talking about friends. But I still feel the same thing for him.

Da-damn

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 03:04:29 GMT

Hi B14d3! It's been 1600 (wow, that's a big number) days since you joined Xanga... won't you support us by going Premium?

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Sun, 08 Apr 2007 04:15:37 GMT

The only words that I can really say to describe how I feel...

The blind disciple will be struck down by the sword of reality.

Fuck. You.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 04:23:07 GMT

So, the number 23 was absolutely amazing. But! My awesome dawesome cousin NicZ is here. So!

ttfn

Haha, I'm oh so 8th grade.

Work.

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 17:00:45 GMT

First day of work as a computer tech.

Nervous?

You better believe it.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 09:13:25 GMT

It always seems that no matter what situation I get myself into, I can never be equal. I can never be the same. I can never compare to anyone else. I, among others, have always told myself that this is a good thing. That it expresses individuality.But when it comes to the one that you know you love, and their past experiences, you realize that this is the WORST possible thing ever. I can never be as good as the others. I can never be like them. I don't know why I'm not single.

I don't know why I'm not alone.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 22:33:27 GMT

I like how I sleep all the time, although it's never enough.

I have amazing dreams (Aly knows what I'm talking about) that make me wish they last longer. I finally feel... right in them.

I wake up almost in tears. But not sad tears, the good kind.

But have to keep all my dreams to myself, for two reasons.
A) No one can see through my eyes quite perfectly.
B) If they could, they would say I was on crack lol.

So, in the meantime, I'll continue reliving the dreams that make me feel at home, because sometimes nothing in life just quite does.